How depressing -_-

Fellow Bloggers,
Its been quite a while since my last post and I'm genuinely sorry for that. I have been 100% dedicating my time to taking care of my 8 month old son with only one leg! But now that I've got the hang of it I feel it's time to jump back on the ol' bloggin' wagon. So as I said before, this is going to be a pretty serious post so don't expect any giggles this time around, sorry. To pick up where I left off, it was the day after I got my boot. I felt like maybe I had transitioned from the splint a little to quickly, but then again i'm not a doctor. The first night was pretty rough. I had been tossing and turning trying to find a comfortable position to place the damn boot. This thing was hard to adjust to because it weighed so much, my poor calf muscle was already under conditioned and now it had to adjust to added weight thrown on after only two weeks since the surgery. I woke up groggy and disoriented mainly from the  lack of sleep, or was it the pain meds, and really had to use the bathroom. If you guys have ever been in this situation you feel my pain, but to those who don't, try and imagine for a second what it might be like to attempt to go number two when your body is loaded up with narcotics and your aren't as ambulatory as you once were. Its almost near impossible. It was so depressing sitting for a good 20 minutes trying to get your bowels moving, sorry if TMI but I'm just being honest, and nothing is coming out. Worst moments of my life right there. As you guys can imagine your going to need a care taker pretty much 24/7 for at least the first 4 weeks after your break, and even then it would be nice to have help a little longer. So the only person available at the time was my boyfriends mom, bless her heart, she came everyday at 8 in the morning after my boyfriend left to work to care for my son and I. Let me just say it was the most undignifying moments of my life. Here I am, her daughter-in-law, the women who is supposed to care for her son and grandson, the motherly figure of the house hold and she is witnessing me at my weakest moments. I felt so vulnerable. I couldn't fetch myself a glass of water, or grab a bite to eat, or change my own sons diaper without help. Needless to say, I was incredibly embarrassed. What really broke my heart was the fact that I couldn't care for my own child. I was his sun and moon before I broke my ankle, and then after, its like I was this person in the background that used to play a part in his daily routine. Most of the time I was so knocked out from my pain meds that i didn't even know what he was up too. I was missing out on moments. Everything I had worked so hard to establish with my son was ruined. He wasn't going to bed at the same time I had always done, or eating the same foods because his grandma was caring for him. I felt so worthless and so much like a burden. There were moments when I would just lie down and cry for hours. I was so depressed. I felt like I had no dignity. I also felt so angry and frustrated when any one left the house. Even on little trips to the grocery store, or to put gas in the car. Those moments became so important to me because I hadn't left the house in what felt like ages. I was so upset. The days blended into each other and before I know it I can manage my pain. At that point, right around the 4 week marker, I knew I wanted to start trying to be independent again. So I ask my boyfriends mom to take a day off so I can try doings things on my own. Thank the lord I took a chance because it helped me establish the system that I now do everyday. I didn't need her anymore after that and it was then that I realized I'm stronger than I think I am. Don't get me wrong I was incredibly scared to be on my own. How was I supposed to make a bottle when my boy was hungry, or carry him to the living room with me, or chase after him as he crawls into the kitchen?  But the desire to be independent, and normal, and self-sustaining again over powered the feeling of doubt and fear I had inside me. Eventually all the problems I thought I would encounter while caring for myself I ended up finding solutions for. I kept at it and now I' m doing much better. (More on that in the next post...)

What Was I Thinking?...Seriously?

Hey Guys! Okay so where to start? Hmm, I guess I'll start from the terrible mistake. So as you guys know, when you break your ankle and have surgery it's very hard to bathe. I mean unless you have a shower chair already, or unless you own like a plastic chair of some sort, your pretty much screwed. I had neither of those, so what I did was I wrapped my cast in a trash bag and tapped it to my leg with the only tape we own, (packing tape.) Here I am, wrapping my brand new cast in a trash bag while I can't feel the damn leg because my stupid ON Q pump medicine was still in my system. It was going alright besides the fact that my leg was virtually dead up to my butt cheek. So now my water is ready and I'm ready to get in. I figured since I had the bag over my cast in would be okay to put the leg in the water. WRONG. I was about 5 minutes into my bath when I realized I could feel a bit of warmth on my skin under the cast. So not good... I told my boyfriend to help me out quick. I was forcing myself out of the tub when my leg felt extra heavy. I crutched to the bed and ripped the trash bag off; it was full of water. My brand new cast was almost completely soaked on the back side. I rushed to the internet, and it said that I should try to blow dry it with cold air. Well that didn't work. Here I am all oily and now covered in dirty water while my foot is freezing off cause I'm drying my wet cast with cold air. It was not a good day for me. So I eventually give up and ask my boyfriend to take me to the emergency room to get this re-wrapped. Now the splint they gave me sucked. It was nothing like the beautiful cast my surgeon had put on me, not to mention it really hurt moving my freshly cut into foot around that much, but at least it was dry now. Lets just say the comfort didn't last long. The next day I couldn't take it anymore. The splint they gave me at the emergency room was wayyyyy to uncomfortable. My heel was being rubbed raw because there wasn't enough cushion and gauze, and it was put on crooked so my ankle was bent a weird way. My boyfriend didn't like it too much, but he took me back yet again to get it replaced. My poor foot :( It was being man handled so much. Finally this splint was actually comfortable. But just when I was getting used to it, I had my follow up appointment with my surgeon. So I go to this appointment thinking that he's going to redo the splint yet again, and I get all sad because I'm tired of taking my foot out and having it moved around. Instead of giving me a splint though, my awesome surgeon gives me a boot! Yay, this one is so much more comfortable, and adjustable, AND removable! It was great! I left there feeling so much better. No more splints, thank the heavens!



Now you guys see how ridiculous I am. I mean who puts a cast in the water, wrapped in a trash bag or not?! Well anyways, I wanna know if this have ever happened to you? Do you enjoy your boot or prefer a cast? Alright I'm off to bed, but next time I'll write about my experience with the boot and getting used to being dependent on people. It's gonna be a pretty serious post so don't miss out!

JULY 15th...

Holy crap, I needed surgery. I have NEVER had surgery in my life. I think it's the thought of going under that's scared me the most. I mean, I won't be able to remember anything that happens to me. I don't want that, that's crazy! Plus. what about the pain afterwards? Won't it be excruciating? What if it's worse than the pain I already felt? How could I handle it? Oh, my mind was reeling. I know I was probably being more of a baby than an adult in the moments leading up to the surgery, but if you have ever had to experience it before I'm sure you had a moment of weakness as well.
In the doctors office, after he explained to me what needed to be done, my surgery was called an Open Reduction and Internal Fixation (ORIF) by the way, he asked when I would like to schedule it. Part of me wanted to wait a few days, but then I realized that I could potentially hurt myself further if I put it off, so I went ahead and made it for early the next morning. July 15th, 2014 at 11 am I would be in the OR having rods and screws and plates drilled into me, then I would be patched back up and left to cope with the damages. Boy, was I scared. But none the less I was up and ready by 9:15 am the next morning.
Now the surgery itself went well. The worst, and I mean the absolute WORST part of this entire experience has to be that damn ON Q Pump they gave me to stop the pain. If you guys don't know what an ON Q pump is, it is a nerve block they insert in your leg with a catheter and connect a drip that dispenses an anesthetic from this little ball you wear in a bag around your neck. It basically makes your ENTIRE leg dead from the butt cheek down for about 2 days following the surgery. Ugh, that was the worst experience of my life. I can take pain no problem, but the moment I feel that damn tingly feeling in my foot I have to shake it off. Can you imagine how much of a torture it was to feel that way through my whole freaking right leg! I swear I wanted to just rip it out of me at least a dozen times. The day it finally emptied and I was allowed to pull the catheters out I was ecstatic. But even after, it took me about 24 hours to regain all the feeling back in my leg, and the incision sites didn't hurt so bad! So now I kinda wish I wouldn't have went through with the local anesthetic but that's just my preference.
All in all, surgery wasn't so bad. The nurse I had was awesome, the drugs kicked in real quick, and I got all the ice chips in the world. I siked myself out way to much, as I expect we all do when it comes to major surgeries, but it wasn't half bad.



What I wanna know is how you guys felt about YOUR surgery. Were you scared from the beginning like me? Did you absolutely LOVE your ON Q Pump? What was your surgery even called? Or if you haven't had surgery before, how do think you would feel about it?
So excited to hear from you guys! Keep visiting back because my next post will involve my MANY trips to the ER post-op, plus the stupidest mistake a person who has just broken a bone could ever make. *sigh* I am sooo dumb sometimes, but at least it makes a good story for you guys!
Until next time(:

From the Top

To start off I'll go ahead and tell you guys about my injury. I recently broke my first bone EVER and it happened to be my ankle. One of the most painful breaks you can get, or at least my orthopedist says. I broke it exactly one week ago from today, as of 7:30 pm central time, here at my apartment complex. Actually, its pretty embarrassing how I broke it. I had just woken up, it was about 9am, and my little guy was crying on the baby monitor letting me know he needed his breakfast. So as I'm in the kitchen preparing a bottle, I realize today is my sister-in-laws wedding shower and my ride is due at 1pm so I had better hurry and get everything ready. After I fed fat-so, I go get dressed in my nice pink dress and straightened my hair, apply my make-up, and put on heels.
See guys, I never wear heels, I'm a mom who works full-time caring for elderly and hardly goes out. You can imagine how stoked I was about getting dolled up for once! Fast-forward to the wedding shower, we have a great time. The food's great, company is great, entertainment is great, and we say our congratulations and head out. After me and little man are dropped off at home I check the time. It's about 6:30 and he is almost ready to go to bed for the night so I'm trying to find ways to stall him till it's time to lay him down; then I get an idea. I could take him to go check the mail with me, he loves that! So here i am looking for my shoes so we can head downstairs to get the mail and I see my Converse. Hmm, should I wear my Converse or my heels? I never get to wear heels so I'll just throw them on real quick! Wrong...so wrong. I grab my little man, rest him on my hip, and head out the door. I get down stairs, through the parking lot, and almost across the street when my foot lands half-way into a shallow pot-hole. Well at that moment my foot went right but my body fell to the left and all I heard was a SNAP! Then I hit the ground... Little man was alright, just resting on my hip watching as if nothing happened while, for me, the pain rushed in. It was like hot aching pain, following the rhythm of my heart beat, and with each pound I winced and fumbled to rise to my feet. It was no use. I was stuck on the hot asphalt with no one in sight and my cell-phone upstairs in my apartment. As the pain got more intense I had to wait for a passer-by to come to my rescue. When a lady in a pick-up truck got out of her car I was screaming hallelujah! She called an ambulance for me, and held little man while I tried, and failed, to make myself more comfortable. When the EMT arrived, they reassured me it was just a sprain because they didn't feel anything moving, but after I got then X-Rays back from imaging, the pictures showed differently. I was told I had a Bimalleolar Fracture in my right ankle. Meaning both my tibia and fibula were broken and my foot was relatively detached from my leg. I was in need of surgery...







If you reading this blog because you can relate, enter the name of you broken bone and even how you broke it in the comments below! I would love to hear about it. That's kinda the goal of my blog, is to share experiences of all kinds that involve your broken bones! Lets hear some stories.
My next post will be about my diagnosis and surgery, plus a little post-op pain so check back soon. I have so much to tell you guys!

Cherry Poppin' Post

So hello fellow bloggers. I figured I'd introduce myself before I start telling you guys my story. My name is Sabrina, and I really haven't been that interesting until recently. I'm a college student majoring in biology in the hopes of pursing a pharmacology degree. The idea of making over 50$ an hour appeals to me more than the countless hours of math my degree requires. So here I am 4 years away from my diploma and with more motivation than ever since the arrival of my son. He is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me, and I know that's such a cliche mom thing to say, but all you moms out there can relate I'm sure. He is a 7.5 month old sack of smiles that I'm still trying to figure out how ended up on my doorstep. Now, if you can believe it, I do need a little help in maintaining this extravagant lifestyle I currently have, and who better to help me than the love of my life? My boyfriends name is Tim and he wants to be a policeman, not to thrilled about the dangerous career choice, but it's his dream, so I guess I'll be supportive. Forreal though guys, this man has what it takes, he has such a passion for the job. He's the kind of man who takes pride in the words "protect and serve," and knows the dangers of the job, yet finds it thrilling. He can remain calm in stressful situations and still have direction through it all. He is my protector and my sons role model, and honestly, I couldn't ask for a better man. Obviously I have a pretty amazing support system, between my gorgeous loving son and my compassionate man, I know I can pull through anything. And with that I guess I should tell my story...